


Nothing on my Tongue but Hallelujah

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, M/M, Minor Anna Milton/Castiel, Minor Becky Rosen/Chuck Shurley, Minor Becky Rosen/Sam Winchester, Minor Jo Harvelle/Dean Winchester, Sam's Guilt Issues, Tumblr Prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-08 21:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13467021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Sam's given everything he has for the world, over and over again.  Chuck, at Castiel's prayer, tries to figure out how to give something back to Sam.  It takes a couple tries.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyShadowphyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyShadowphyre/gifts).



> The first few parts of this have been posted under various prompt collections; I decided to collect them all in one place.
> 
> 1\. A Gentle “I Love You” Whispered After A Soft Kiss, Followed Immediately By A Stronger Kiss  
> 2\. "I'm sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately."  
> 3\. One Small Kiss, Pulling Away For An Instant, Then Devouring Each Other  
> 4\. Accidental kiss/True Love's Kiss

It had been a long day, but Sam loved the feeling of exhaustion at the end of a day like today. He’d spent the morning in court, arguing on behalf of a neglected child that her father deserved custody of her if her mother wasn’t going to even try to be a mom. He won the case, and the look of joy on both daddy and daughter’s faces when they hugged after the verdict was announced was something he never got tired of seeing.

Then it was to his office to finish the paperwork on this case and check in on other cases he was working, and then home to his own family and kids. He sometimes felt guilty about how little he got to see Sara and Mickey, compared to their other parents, but Chuck and Becky were always quick to reassure him that he made the most of the time he did have and that the twins knew Daddy loved him. They were more upset by missing time with Abba when he had a deadline and needed to close the door and focus on his writing than by Daddy leaving every morning. Mama, of course, they saw all they could want of - Becky was a full-time mom/aunt/housewife, looking after not just her own twins, but Dean and Jo’s kids Mary and John, and Cas and Anna’s daughters Gabrielle, Hannah, and Rachel.

It was chaotic, but it worked, and Sam was reluctant to close the bedroom door behind him. Chuck took his hands and searched his face. “Are you happy?”

Sam squeezed. “Of course I’m happy.” He bent to kiss his husband. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Chuck, surprisingly strong for such a small guy, dragged Sam to the bed and straddled his lap to kiss him more deeply.

Sam slid his hands under Chuck’s t-shirt... and the next thing he knew, he was standing in the Bunker’s kitchen.

 

Sam was thoroughly SICK of having people mess with his head. He’d just spent the past day trapped in some sort of bizarre alternate reality. It hadn’t been bad - he’d been in a happy, apple-pie life. Slightly bizarre, but he could see how he’d have been happy in it.

He was a lawyer in family court, specializing in cases of child neglect and abuse. When he went home, it was to a rather large family - his husband Chuck, his wife Becky, his brothers Dean and Cas, their wives Jo and Anna, and all of their kids. It was chaotic, but it was fun. The kids were all little angels.

In retrospect, being married to Becky should’ve been a warning, but whatever, it had felt right in the dream. Being happy should’ve been an even bigger warning. Sam wasn’t allowed happiness. He knew that.

“Stop that.”

Sam jumped and looked around. Chuck stood in front of him. “Chuck? What... stop what... wait... the alternate universe... were you there?”

“I created it, Sam. Do me a favor, reach into that inside pocket.”

“Which one?” Sam’s hand was already inside his jacket when he realized the problem. This was gonna be awkward if he’d used the wrong hand.

Chuck smiled. “You know which one.”

Sam fished the amulet out and gasped when Chuck reached for it. It began to glow, and felt warm in his hand. Castiel’s words from the Apocalypse came back to him. The amulet would glow in the presence of... “God? You’re God?”

“Yeah, but I prefer Chuck, especially from you.” Chuck gave him back the amulet.

Sam wrapped his hand around it and immediately blushed. “Uh. I’m... that alternate universe, I didn’t mean to...”

“Sam, I created that universe. If I’d had a problem with you kissing me, I wouldn’t have made you my husband.”

“So that’s not why you ended it? So you wouldn’t have to...” Sam cringed at the idea. They’d been about to have sex, and there’s no way God would want to sleep with an abomination.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t want to sleep with an abomination. That’s got nothing to do with you, though. I ended the universe because I did want to sleep with you, but it was hardly fair. I mean, in that universe, you were in love with me. In this one, the one that’s real to you, you’re pretty angry with me already, and I get why. Not gonna take advantage of that.”

“Huh?”

“If you decide to sleep with me here, even if it’s just to make me prove that I’m willing to, that’s your choice and you’ve got the information you need to make an informed one.” Chuck cleared his throat and looked away. "I'm sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately before ending things.”

“Why did you play house with me?” Sam asked. He had to know.

Chuck’s embarrassment disappeared. “Castiel’s been telling me about you. It’s not exactly normal for an angel to pray in human fashion, but he prayed for you to know peace and happiness and that you are loved and deemed worthy of redemption. I’m trying to figure out how to do that.”

 

Sam was still trying to get his head around the idea that God - Chuck - had created an entire new reality testing to see what would make Sam happy. It wasn’t working, but it was going better than his attempt to get his head around the idea that Chuck had ended that universe because he didn’t want to take advantage of the reality he’d created for Sam to sleep with him.

Chuck not wanting to sleep with him, that made sense, except that Chuck said that wasn’t the case. After Lucifer, Ruby, Dean and Gadreel, Gary, Meg, Azazel... the idea that someone would have that respect for him was almost impossible to consider.

Chuck had taken off after dropping the bombshells, to ‘give Sam space to think about this.’ One thing that bugged him was Chuck suggesting that Sam would make Chuck sleep with him just to prove that he’d do it. Other guys might, sure, but Sam had been through enough forced or coerced sex to refuse to do it to someone else. That probably wasn’t how Chuck had meant it, but that’s what Sam had heard.

It was ludicrous. He knew Chuck had human lovers, but Sam?

“Castiel is right. You really have no idea just how beautiful you are.”

Sam jumped. “Quit doing that!”

“What, reading your mind? I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I really can’t shut it out when people are thinking about me. It’s the rock so heavy I can’t lift it. Part of the cost of being me.”

“Appearing out of nowhere when I’m not expecting you. At least with Cas there was a warning of wings, if you knew to listen for it.”

“Was?”

“Yeah, well, when Metatron kicked the angels out of Heaven...”

Chuck closed his eyes briefly and then reopened them. “Honestly. Humans get mad at me for not fixing a boo-boo on their knee, angels won’t even tell me they’ve lost an essential part of themselves. Wonder how long it’ll take them to notice?”

“Did... you know what, never mind, not questioning you on that one. What did you mean about Castiel being right?”

“I meant that quite possibly the greatest of my creations, an entity that commands the respect of Death himself, who’s stood toe to toe with the strongest and most dangerous creatures in existence and won... is standing here acting like the idea I’d think he was worthy is ridiculous. You’ve jumped into the worst part of Hell, taken on the Trials -”

“Which I failed.”

“No, Sam. You passed those Trials. Closing off Hell was only ever meant to be done in the case of true emergencies. If you’d pulled it off before the Apocalypse, say, and trapped Lucifer down there forever. Anything short of the worst need, I built in a failsafe. For once, Dean actually played his part, even, giving you the choice to choose love and life over self-sacrifice.”

“That doesn’t... I was still dying!”

“You’d have been all right if it weren’t for Metatron doing his thing - Joshua would have taken you to Heaven and healed you there and explained all this to you then. Anyway. You’ve given your life for the world, you constantly put yourself in danger to protect others... and all you ever hope for in return is that the people you’re protecting will be safe and maybe, just maybe, someday Dean will truly forgive you for your mistakes. You’ve given up on me, but Dean’s forgiveness still matters to you.”

“I’m just accepting reality. What I’ve done...”

“What are your mistakes that are so unforgivable that even I can’t forgive them?”

“Freeing Lucifer?”

“Playing the role in the plan I designed - although Michael and Raphael set it off early, but you had a part to play. How am I supposed to be mad at you for obeying your god?”

Sam blinked a couple times. “Well in that case, going against your plan and refusing Lucifer until I was going to trap him back in the Cage.”

“Which reset things, putting my plan back the way I’d wanted it all along - and the strength you showed in doing it, in accepting your fate in spending eternity in the Cage with Lucifer, can I just say wow I can’t think of any other human who’d have done it?”

“Abandoning Dean in Purgatory.”

“Oh come on. Dean still hasn’t let that go? Sam. Listen to me. You know this, but you’ve let Dean convince you you’re wrong: You did not abandon Dean in Purgatory. You watched him and Castiel die. How could you possibly know they’d be taken to Purgatory? You thought he was in Heaven, and you made the call to let him have his well-earned peace.”

Sam shook his head. “You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you.”

“No. I don’t have an answer to why you can’t see how awesome you are - and trust me, if anyone knows awesome, it’s me.”

Sam burst into laughter. “Okay. Fine. I’m not a horrible person and you think I’m worthy of your respect and love still - and I know how much you like having your judgment questioned, so I won’t. At least, I’ll try not to.”

“Good. Does that mean I can kiss you again?”

“Uh, sure.”

Chuck approched slowly and carefully tangled his hand in Sam’s hair before gently kissing him. When Sam responded positively to that, Chuck took it farther.

 

52: Accidentally Witnessed Kiss

55: True Love’s kiss

Sam couldn’t help the laughter as he lay cuddled up to Chuck. Off Chuck’s look, Sam explained, “I’m just thinking of all the times I’ve been told God hates fags or that I’m going to Hell because I like dudes too. Some of the people who claim to follow you really don’t know you very well. One of the things Cas did when he was on his little power trip trying to fill your shoes was to smite some preachers for railing against homosexuals while having extramarital affairs or being gay or bi themselves.”

“If I were a more active interventionist god, I’d do something like that, I have to say. People using me as an excuse to spew hatred really annoy me.” Chuck ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. “At the time, when I realized Castiel’s nature, I thought he was a mistake. I thought he’d be more trouble than he was worth. I very nearly destroyed him to try again. I was wrong. I wish I’d made more of the angels like him.”

“Me too.”

“You know I can read your heart and soul. Is there a reason you haven’t gone after what you want?”

Sam ducked his head. “I’ve never thought I was worthy to. The best angel in or out of Heaven and the boy with the demon blood? My perspective’s changed, recently, but I haven’t exactly had the opportunity to do anything about it.”

“Good. Do something about it. Ask him if you can see his new wings and tell him you know what it means.”

“But I don’t know...”

“You know that normally, seeing an angel in its true form will burn your eyes out?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“One exception to that is true love. If I’m wrong, if one of you doesn’t love the other the way I think you do, I’ll heal you myself.” Chuck gently kissed Sam and disappeared.

 

It took Castiel some time to notice the weight on his back. Its absence had become familiar, but he’d had the weight for millennia, so it didn’t immediately register as “wrong”. When it did, he tested his newly-healed wings with a quick test flight, and then immediately focused on the nearer Winchester to show. Well, to show that he could fly, anyway. Showing his actual wings... that would depend on which Winchester and how they took the news and if Castiel could find the courage.

In his excitement about the wings, Castiel forgot the social niceties he’d learned from the Winchesters. For that, he felt he deserved what he got - the sight of his Father naked, in bed with the man he loved, kissing him gently. He should have gone to Dean.

Conflicting emotions held him in place - on the one hand, if there was anyone deserving of Sam, it was certainly his father. Sam looked happy, and peaceful - exactly the things Castiel had been praying to his father for. On the other hand, Castiel was jealous. He couldn’t help it.

When Sam opened his eyes after Chuck’s disappearance, Castiel realized he should leave - but it was too late. Sam had seen him. “Cas? Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in... what brings you here?”

“I wanted to inform you and Dean that my wings have been healed. I don’t know how or why, and we should probably investigate so that if there are strings attached we’re aware.”

Sam’s smile grew and he got to his feet. “Oh, don’t worry about that. Chuck fixed them - and all the angels’ wings. He seemed rather put out by hearing about it from me, instead of one of the angels, but he’s not going to put any strings on it.”

“Oh.” What else was there to say, really? “Please forgive my intrusion. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

Sam reached out and grabbed his arm. “Please don’t go yet. I... you know what I think about myself, how much I hate myself sometimes and feel unworthy of anything?”

“It would seem you’ve gotten over that,” Castiel said before he could stop himself. His eyes widened and he hurriedly added, “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for and rude. Please forgive me.”

“I, uh... yeah, a bit, at least. Enough to have enough faith in you to ask you for something. Even if you say no, you’re not gonna be offended or anything. I hope.” Sam reddened, and Castiel waited. “Can I see your wings?”

“I doubt it.” Never mind that he’d hoped to try this, if Sam loved Chuck instead of him, it wouldn’t do anything but hurt Sam.

Sam ducked his head, nodding, but then he looked up again. “Because you’re afraid of hurting me, or because you don’t want me to see them?”

“I won’t hurt you, Sam.”

“Chuck doesn’t believe you will. But, if he’s wrong, he’ll heal me up, and I’m willing to take that risk. Please?”

“Oh, well, if Chuck says so.” Castiel had his wings spread before he could really think - but he stopped short of manifesting them. “Sam, even if you’re healed later, this is still going to be very painful.”

Sam smiled softly at Castiel. “I know. Been there, done that, had my eyes burned out thousands of times by bored archangels who thought it was mildly amusing. I have faith, Cas. Have some faith in me not to ask this if I didn’t believe it would work?”

When Sam put it that way, Castiel couldn’t refuse. He could only prepare himself to deal with the pain while they waited for Chuck to come heal him up. He closed his eyes, manifesting his wings and waiting for the screams.

There were no screams. There was a soft gasp, and then Sam’s voice. “They’re beautiful. I’d never really thought of black as glowing, but that’s exactly what this looks like. I don’t even have words for this. Beautiful is so inadequate.”

Castiel opened his eyes to see Sam’s sunflower eyes glued to his wings in wonder. “You... can see them? Without pain?”

“Yeah.” Sam dragged his eyes to Castiel’s face. “So saying this is probably redundant, but I love you.”

“Then what was that with Chuck...?”

“That was... I really don’t know how to describe it. An affirmation? A declaration?” Sam shrugged, and he huffed in amusement as something occurred to him. “If Dean were here, he’d call it a holy fuck. It’s not a relationship, not like what I want with you.”

“Oh. I want... I want that, too. Sam, may I kiss you?”

“Yes, please.” Sam gasped in shock as Castiel’s wings closed around him, forming a cocoon around the two of them. Castiel stretched up and kissed him, pulling away only when he felt Dean heading their way.

He quickly hid his wings before Dean threw open the door. “Heya Sammy, got a visit from a winged dickmonkey looking for Cas - and the term’s accurate again. Angels have their wings back.” He did a quick doubletake. “There a reason you’re naked?”

“Um... you’re not going to believe me, but... I’ve had a very weird day. Chuck fixed the angels’ wings.”

Castiel cleared his throat. “Who was it, and did they say what they wanted with me?”

“Said her name was Sarah and she wanted to see if your wings had healed as well.”

Castiel nodded. “Sarah is one of the good ones. I’ll go to her when we’re done here.”


	2. The Baffled King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unintended consequences.

Like, okay, Sam can see Castiel's wings without pain, but for some reason every angel can tell that not only has Sam Winchester met their Father, they had sex, which makes Sam their stepmother (because he was being God as much as Chuck, and it kind of marked Sam's soul), which gets Cas some odd looks because he and Sam are bonded.... 

Cas took Sam with him to meet Sarah. Sarah would spread the word of his bond with the Winchester, which made him off-limits to any angel who would want to harm him - although Chuck’s interest in him already did that, Castiel had to admit. “Keep your eyes closed when we get there. Sarah may have her wings out, and they would burn you.”

Castiel flew them to the meeting, and Sam enjoyed the sensation of flying with his... whatever you called an angel whose wings you could see. “Castiel, isn’t this amazing? All of Heaven is buzzing about it... oh!” Her wings disappeared. “I didn’t know you were bringing a human. It’s safe, Sam.”

“A good chance to kill two birds with one stone,” Castiel said. He checked to make sure Sam’s eyes were opened, and then he spread his wings as well. “My wings are healed.

Despite having been up close and very personal with Castiel’s wings for most of the day, Sam was no less amazed by the sleek black gloss of his feathers. He barely paid any attention to Sarah’s surprised gasp - so she was surprised that they were bonded. Who wouldn’t be? He was still trying to figure out how to tell Dean!

Castiel was a little less blase about it. “What’s wrong, Sarah?”

“You don’t see it? On Sam’s soul?”

Castiel tilted his head, looking at Sam very intently. “Ah. That. Yes, I am aware.”

“And you still...?”

“My bond with Sam was there first. Unconsummated, but there. Our father would have felt that, and he could have removed it if he felt the need.”

“I see. You do realize that puts you in rather an awkward position.”

“I am aware. The angels will forever consider me to be eccentric and deeply flawed.” One of Castiel’s wings curled around Sam, comforting him as he felt Sam’s dismay. “I fail to see how this will be different from any other time in my life.”

Sarah laughed at that. “You’ve got me there. Congratulations, then - to both you and your bondmate.”

 

Every time Sam ran into an angel after that, with or without Castiel, he could feel them staring at his soul. It was discomfiting, knowing that his demon blood taint was affecting Castiel now, too, because of the bond.

“Sam. Come on, dude, I thought you’d found some peace with yourself.”

Sam’s head came up, eyes a little red from crying. “Myself, yes, but it’s affecting Castiel now, too. You were right about me being able to see his wings, but apparently it’s causing him trouble.”

“Yeah, about that.” Chuck nervously scratched the back of his head. “That one’s my fault. See, usually when I sleep with a human, the God power is shut off, I’m just a struggling writer who’s convinced someone I’m worth sleeping with. You were different, and it’s been so long that I didn’t stop to think about what would happen. It’s not the demon blood that the other angels are reacting so weirdly to, it’s the imprint I left on your soul.”

“What imprint?”

“Well, uh, I thought it was a one-night stand... and now we’re married. Congratulations, you’re the stepfather of every angel out there.”

“I... what... including Castiel?”

“Including Castiel. That’s what the other angels are probably judging him for, forming that kind of bond with my husband, not forming that kind of bond with someone with demon blood in their past. I can break the bond with Castiel easily if that’s what you and he want, but removing my imprint from your soul is nearly impossible without causing irreparable damage to it. I’m sorry. Didn’t realize this would happen.”

Sam got up and walked up to Chuck, wrapping him up in a big bear hug. “It’s all right. I can handle it, and Castiel finds it funny, rather than upsetting.”

Chuck leaned in, holding tight to Sam. “How does it feel, being the one God goes to for comfort and forgiveness?”

Well, now that Chuck mentioned it, it was a dizzying role reversal he couldn’t quite get his head around at the moment. So he made it into a joke. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometime later, as Sam's explaining this turn of events to Dean:
> 
> "So, let me get this straight. YOU are the stepfather of the angels."  
> "Yep."  
> "Including Castiel."  
> "Yes."  
> "Does that mean you get to make him call you Daddy?"


End file.
